The Invention of Lying - Louis Brennan

The Invention of Lying
We all know what this film is about. Ricky Gervais character Mark lives in a world where everybody only tells the truth, and for some completely unexplained reason he is the only person who can lie. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a pretty damn good idea for a film. A lot better than a film about a man who can’t be faithful to his wife because he’s addicted to travelling through time. Who wouldn’t be?
This premise is what ensures the film remains watchable throughout. There are thousands of conversations we have all had that if played out truthfully would sound rather different, and I reckon the writers have got this spot on. A number of these will make at least one member of the audience turn to their friend and say “Oooh I can sooo relate to that! That is just so true!”
So what of Ricky Gervais performance? It’s a mixed bag. On the positive side he finally tries to play a character that isn’t just David Brent. In fact, this is probably Gervais’ most serious, straight-forward character to date, and he delivers emotional and thought-provoking scenes more authentically than would be expected. However, this is not that much of a compliment. Anything Ricky Gervais has said in the past has usually been followed by a drawn out, uncomfortable silence, and this expectation occasionally still turns what could have been genuinely brilliant scenes into a possible advert for Extras in America. Ricky and Jennifer together... are you ‘avin a laugh?
Therefore, much like Extras, it is up to a host of celebrity cameos to provide us with the memorable moments. Jason Bateman’s thirty seconds are amusing, Edward Norton’s five minutes are funny, and Rob Lowe is simply hysterical throughout. Stephen Merchant and BarryFromEastenders’ contribution is also quite a bit funnier than Gervais’ (also very similar to Extras...do I see a pattern emerging?). Jennifer Garner on the other hand is entirely pointless for the duration of the film. Never before has an actress been cast so obviously as pure eye candy.
The annoying this is, The Invention of Lying could have been brilliant. Maybe even a cult classic. When you see the film however you will know exactly what I mean when I say that there just isn’t enough depth. There just isn’t enough oomph. I still recommend seeing it, but coming out of the cinema you will think, “Yeah, that was funny. Anyway...”.

Ivy - Eunice Eke

Ivy

The last tear has fallen far,
far beyond this world,
far beyond your reach to console.
No need now for all my pleading cries.

You laugh at me, mock me, spit in my face.
But this isn’t your race.
You have not won. I pretend to know my place,
By your side.

You are a serpent,
The master of temptation,
A dragon out of his lair,
A bottle of poison awaiting its first try.

You are sleeping now.
I have all the power,
Do I take what I deserve.
Your life.
No.

Because it’s all in this poisonous flower.

Lytle hwile - a modern version - Rosie Simmonds

Oh leaf you are so green and true,
The sunlight shines and brightens you.
But you my friend are temporary
And my poem for you, contemporary.
For you turn shades or orange, yellow, brown,
As you catch the breeze, fall to the ground.
Yet what happens on your journey from here?
You mix with dirt and disappear.
A silent life, so sweet, so short.
A poem translated form a thought.

Darren Hodge - Pursuit Force: Extreme Justice Game Review

I have completed the game Pursuit Force: Extreme Justice. It is a brilliant game, enjoyable by all ages and it is the second instalment to the Pursuit Force series. It was a great plot along which is a lot different because the first one hasn’t got as big as plot as the first one, the first one is just five missions for each group. It has great action clips and game play. I thoroughly enjoyed every second I played it and I couldn’t put it down, it gets you hooked like you can never imagine.
The plot is that you are a police officer and you are working for a police force called Pursuit Force. You are accompanied by three recruits, each specialising in a different field of police work. All through the game your aim is to stop five main groups, four of them are called, the Raiders, the Syndicate, the Convicts, the Warlords (who have come back from the first one) and the fifth one is secret and you will have to find out yourself; I was shocked when I found out who it was, it is a great surprise.
You have a tremendous variety of guns, including close range based for humans, and long range for vehicles. It gives you an opportunity to think in situations and see what fits best to it. It feels like you get literally into the game, it has action and adventure.
The main character, which you are, has an enemy after someone who is very close to him is killed by his enemy and it adds a little minor story and in that he has to have revenge. It’s truly sad when the person dies and it is an action packed story and it can relate to real life, it is an intense and a thrill ride story. In fact the whole story is exciting; there are loose ends which leave you wanting to know the answers.
Anyone can play it and anyone can enjoy it, it is a superb game packed with explosions, shooting and totally unputdownable. It is great for people who are into first person shooting games who like a lot of action. It sets a whole new bar for other games, other games have a lot to compete with and will have to raise their standard because this masterpiece of a game has set the bar, sky high.
In conclusion I found this game as good as it gets and will not be one like this for a long time. I highly recommend it to everyone because I guarantee you will enjoy it as much as I have and hope that you found it as interesting and action packed!

Mars’ Wrath by Harry O'Neill

The milestone, hidden amongst the dwarf elder leaves, told us we were heading to Camulodunum.
“Left! Right! Left! Right!” The centurion barked.
We reached a bend in the road and out of the bushes a group of Celts with raving dogs ambushed us. I pulled my gladius out of its sheath and plunged it straight into the heart of a Celt, a massive dog with razors as teeth bit clean into my thigh. I managed to shake the dog off, but I was struck around the head and if weren’t for my helmet I could’ve died. I fell to the floor and a wild haired Celt rippling with muscle stood over me and was about to strike. Fortunately Marcus slashed the Celt across the face, hot, dark blood spattered across my arm as I covered my face with my hands. He pulled me up to my feet then a barbed spear came hurling towards us and plunged into Marcus’ stomach. Then in a flash of rage I pick up my gladius and stabbed a Celt in the chest, ducked a slash and cleaved into his leg.

After the devastation I ran to Marcus who lay in a ditch lying in a pool of his own blood. I was horrified to see Marcus dead, fourteen years I had been his friend and now he was dead. The gods themselves seemed to be upset as they turned the skies themselves a murky grey.

We piled the bodies into several pits and set them alight the stench was horrific but it would clear bodies faster. We took off, as soon the last pit was alight. We continued our march to Camulodunum with a lot less soldiers. There were three dead Romans to every one dead Celt.

Chapter 2 The Devastation

When we were around 3 miles from Camulodunum we could see black plumes of black smoke rising into the heavens. “Damned Celts burned the capital,” our centurion stated,
“Must have killed loads of their own,” Cleopas said
“They don’t care. They’ll do whatever they can to rid us, even if that’s killing their own.”
“They’re damn mental”

When we reached the capital we saw something worse than we imagined.
All of the Romans that were stationed in the capital were lying on the ground with their wrists and throats slit. We were split into parties and searched among the rubble to see if there were any survivors but as we expected the only people we found were the burnt remains of civilians and some unlucky Celts that weren’t fast enough. We were ordered to regroup, and the reports were that only two gladius’ and a single shield were repairable the rest were too damaged. Mars decided to punish us for letting the rebels do this and sent a huge thunder storm the rain started to turn to hail which pelted us; so I pulled my shield over my head to prevent my amour from rusting.

Chapter 3 The pain of battle

We decided to set up camp just next to a brook in the middle of an open forest. The willow stretched high and streams of the evening light shone through. There was a sudden rustling in a bush. We approached cautiously with swords raised but we were surprised when a severely wounded roman emerged and with no warning collapsed. We sat him down and asked what had happened and he explained that that the rebels had burst out from behind trees and ambushed his century and he was taken prisoner, they set up camp and beat and tortured him. He then told us on his last breath the location of the rebel’s camp.

We decided to leave at dawn so we could use the darkness as extra cover, the road seemed to stretch on forever and the stars shone brightly in the night sky. The camp was heavily guarded but it was nothing for our archers, as soon as the guards were killed we moved into to kill. We burnt, stole and slaughtered everyone and thing. The camp was alight in a few minutes with a luminous orange glow. Screams and howls from men and animals alike filled the air and the shout of victory from our men, we had won. Then the background through the trees English reinforcements! They charged down the hill and engaged us in battle; their chariots crushed our front lines, then a barrage of rocks hailed down upon us and one small boulder hit my temple and knocked me unconscious.

As I awoke I realised there were Celts around me talking quietly to each other in their barbaric tongue. I froze, hardly daring to breathe despite the awful thirst in my throat and throbbing pain in my head. One came close. I heard his foot land on the soft ground next to me. I was turned over but continued to play dead. I guess from the state of me after I saw my reflection in the pool I drank from later I looked pretty dead when they saw me. All my possessions had been stolen including my sword, armour and shield! The only thing they hadn’t stolen was my tunic, and I was able to sneak through the countryside and find my way back to the reinforcements that General Vespasian sent to relieve our legions.

A review of ‘Sniper One’ by Sergeant Dan Mills – Mitchell Hill (7/2)

‘Sniper One’ is a brilliant first-hand account of a ‘peace keeping’ tour of Iraq in 2004 and is written by the Platoon Sergeant of the Sniper Platoon, Dan Mills, of the Princess of Wales Royal Regiment.

Having served twenty years in the British Army Mills recounts that his regiment ‘never go anywhere’, when they are suddenly deployed to Iraq, ostensibly to keep the peace and to train the newly formed Iraqi Police. Being the consummate professionals that they are, the Sniper Platoon that he leads is elated. However, almost from the moment that they set foot on Iraqi soil they are shot at whilst on foot patrol, experience RPG (rocket propelled grenade) attacks on their vehicles and have the complex of buildings that serve as their base under daily mortar bombardment by the insurgents. Throughout the book the tension builds to the final battle where their base is under siege by a vastly superior number of insurgents and there is a very real danger that it will be over run.

Mills captures the humour, comradeship and cool professionalism of the ordinary British soldier wonderfully and as the story unfolds you can almost feel the tension, excitement and fear as he describes each attack. This is a good book, that keeps you turning page after page and I can thoroughly recommend it.
(to see the action that Dan Mills describes so vividly in his book, go to YouTube and view the clip ‘PWRR in Iraq’).

The peasant revolt poem - Thomas Enstone

The peasant revolt poem



The peasant revolt had a catapult they fought all day and night.

They had to work for the king or there was no dinner that night.

They worked and worked till they might choke,

if they wanted more wages they would get a poke.

The king made them pay more taxes so the bought more axes.

They had to pay for their wives so they got their knives.

They had to work double and that caused more trouble.

They refused to work because the king was a jerk.

And that's why the peasant revolt started.